Top 10 Items of General Convention Swag

Research on the General Convention 

of the Episcopal Church 

ISSUES is committed to engaging in comprehensive and penetrating analysis of the state of the General Convention of the Episcopal Church. Having received generous grants for research from Trinity Wall Street, the Lilly Endowment, and Buzzfeed, we offer you this carefully vetted list of the top ten bits of free swag from the Exhibit Hall.

#10 - Best Lip Moisturizer

Lip balm is a common bit of swag at the 79th General Convention. The best comes from Virginia Theological Seminary which offers its in an upscale square jar container which is preferable to the traditional cylindrical format.

# 9 - Best Bag

Bags are also found all over the exhibit hall and, of course, serve the crucial purpose of making it easier to acquire more swag. The Episcopal Office of Armed Forces & Federal Ministries bag is a clear winner here. It’s durable with multiple pockets, zippers, and handles. It befits an organization connected with the military.

# 8 - Best Food Item

The General Seminary penguin bar, flown in from England for us Anglophiles, is excellent but loses here in close competition with the Mamoul cookies from the American Friends of the Episcopal Diocese of Jerusalem.

# 7- Item That Is Quite Useful and Suggests Its Organization Might Have Some $$$

The Church Pension Group Water Bottle

# 6 - Genuinely Cool Thing

Olivewood Jerusalem Cross from St. George’s College at the VTS booth.

# 5 - Heaviest Item

The thirty cardboard “In the Spirit of the Circle” posters disseminated by the Office of Native and Indigenous Ministries.

# 4 - Best Item to Bring Home to the Kids

After spending almost two weeks away from your children what better way to show them they’ve been on your mind than giving them some cheap tchotchke? The Forma silly putty and ERD colored pencils are your best bets here. The silly putty is a slight winner here although it is more likely to lead to disastrous messes.

# 3 - Coffee

ERD has been doing good free coffee for years now but the mountain grown coffee from the Honduras Development Network is the most intriguing blend on the floor this year.

# 2 - Best Fan

There were, at least, seven different hand fans up for grabs this year. Two honorable mentions are the Episcopal Camp fan which doubles as a frisbee and the St. John the Divine fan, which is lovely. But the Church Periodical Club fan folds up nicely and creates the greatest air movement per arm swing making it your best choice.

# 1 - Best Stinky Thing

General Seminary provides free incense. Virginia Seminary and St. George’s offers free anointing oil. But the best smelling bit of swag is the Diocese of Texas’s St. Mark’s Beaumont Chili Seasoning Packet.